Missing Michael

Missing Michael is a collection of thoughts that went through the author's mind as he sat and watched his son get completely taken over by cancer, sitting there by his bed the last ninety days of his life in Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Florida. Sometimes, he and his wife would not sleep for two or three days, just listening to him breathe. The things his son went through, he could never do. When his son would be in ICU, there were no beds for them; they would take turns sleeping on the floor by his bed with a pillow and blanket, just to be near him; in case he would wake up, he would see them.

One never knows what can go through a person's mind when you are just sitting there, helpless, while your son just dies, right in front of you. You think of things you should have done and the things you should not have done. You want to trade places with him so bad you pray every night and day for god to let him live, knowing his days are slipping away faster than anything you ever wanted. Michael was so strong, but he hated needles. When he was getting ready for the full–body radiation, they had to pull any teeth that may come out early, because he would bleed really bad. They pulled out two, and the numbness wore off; they told him he needed another shot in his mouth for the last one. He hated needles so bad; he just said, "Go on and pull it out now, no more needles." So, they pulled it without his mouth being numb. That was Michael Lynn, and his father misses him so.

-- Sid Hudgeons